If Only In My Dreams
by OhGeeFantasy
Summary: Single, college student Bella Swan believes in old-fashioned values when it comes to men. She's not willing to lower her standards for anything less than perfection. This Christmas, Bella focuses on family traditions, and charity work at the local P.I.C.U. If things go as planned or rather unplanned, the man of Bella's dreams could be within her reach.


**Hi everyone! I feel as if it's been eternity since I've posted anything on FFN for you! This is the entry I submitted for the Naughty or Nice Contest. I LOVE Christmas and this idea was gnawing at me to be written.**

 **This story was Judge MyonlyHeroin's choice and it also captured the Baby It's Cold Outside Award. The contest was a joy to participate in and was run with excellence. Check out the other stories. I hope you enjoy mine. Merry Christmas!**

 **EnchantedbyTwilight beta'd and as always challenged me. Sometimes I want to argue my points, okay…I always argue my points with her but in the end this is what came to be. Thanks T for always being there for me. Xoxo Love you.**

 **The beautiful banner is by CeCePrincess. When I asked spur of the moment for her to create something for me she delivered. Love you, my friend.**

 **DISCLAIMER: Twilight and its inclusive material is copyrighted by Stephenie Meyer. Original creation, including but not limited to plot and characters, is copyrighted by the respective authors of each story. No copyright infringement is intended.**

 **If Only In My Dreams**

 **Summary: Single, college student Bella Swan believes in old-fashioned values when it comes to men. She's not willing to lower her standards for anything less than perfection, hence the reason she is single. This Christmas, Bella focuses on family traditions, friends, and charity work at the local Pediatric Intensive Care Unit. If things go as planned or rather unplanned, the man of Bella's dreams could be within her reach.**

 **Rating: T**

Dean Martin crooned holiday tunes and a sprinkling of snow fell from a hazy December sky covering everything in a wintery candy-coating. Temperatures had dropped to mere single digits over a few hours, enhancing the holiday feel of the season. Port Angeles, Washington, was beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

Bella, Rose and Bree were tucked inside their shared, cozy apartment busily working on a Christmas project.

"Look!" Rose said. She set a bowl of freshly popped corn on the coffee table and hurried toward the large picture window trimmed in white twinkling lights. She peered through. "It better not melt."

Bella and Bree put their scissors down and looked over at the window; they'd been at it for hours and welcomed a quick break.

"Snow?" Bree asked.

All three college students loved the snow but were happy they were ensconced in the warmth emanating from their electric fireplace. The trio adored everything about Christmas, and their apartment showcased that. A small, artificial Spruce was bursting with decorations, nary a vacant spot for even the tiniest of ornaments. Three handmade, needlepoint stockings hung from the makeshift rustic mantle, and Pine candles were a must for Bella, and they burned around the apartment, wafting a woodsy aroma in their space. It reminded her of winter in her family's mountain cabin. Snowflake garland, delicately crafted by the girls, was draped above the kitchen bar top, and apple cider simmered on the stove.

Bella popped a few pieces of warm, buttery popcorn in her mouth before getting up off the floor. She sidled up next to Rose, admiring the beautiful scenery. Everything was dusted in white, powdery fluff.

"It's bootifa," Bella said as she chewed her food. She loved snow and wanted it to last at least through Christmas.

"It is...so beautiful," Rose replied as she made a large, heart shape with her index finger on the glass, adding an R plus E in the center.

Bella placed a quick comforting peck to her friend's cheek then took a seat back on the rug and leaned against the couch. She and Bree knew why Rose was thrilled to see the snow had finally started.

"A white Christmas would be nostalgic." Bella's eyes looked dreamy, and a smile tugged at her cheeks as she hummed along with Dean.

Bree agreed with Bella. "It would. I've always wanted to go on a sleigh ride with Seth." Bree stretched her legs then crisscrossed them and went back to work.

Bella stopped humming. "Funny, but I had a dream I was on a sleigh ride with the most handsome man alive."

"Let us guess," Bree interrupted.

Rose finished Bree's thought. "Mr. Dreamy."

Bella gave her friends an exaggerated nod and picked up where she left off. "He held my hand under a wool blanket that covered our laps. And he pointed out pretty colorful birds, holly berry bushes and everything romantic and wonderful." Bella's head lulled to one side and her humming continued. She was in love with a fictional being, and she wasn't shy about it either. Rose and Bree had front row seats to the stories about her fictional boyfriend because Bella always filled them in on every detail.

"Oh, Bella," Rose said. "No one like that exists. At least not to the standards you've dreamed up." Rose shook her head and found her place back on the rug with her friends.

"Our little dreamer," Bree said, patting Bella on the knee.

"It'll happen one of these days. If not…" Bella trailed off. She knew if the man of her dreams never came to fruition then she'd be content with the vision of the man who starred in them.

Her tired, sore fingers continued to tie green raffia bows on foiled packages. The girls felt as though they had been wrapping for months. In actuality, it had only been a few weeks' worth of squeezing time in between their college courses—now they were down to the wire with a few days to spare before Christmas Eve. The bigger gifts in bright, glittery holiday-themed bags, had been finished earlier in the day. Each bag contained coloring books, crayons, DVD's, candy canes, a soft furry stuffed animal, and was topped off with red and white striped tissue paper.

"Do you think the kids will love these?" Bree asked, although it was rhetorical, as she gathered the bags two by two. She lined them up on every available surface she could find—the kitchen table, counter, and the bench by the front door. She knew without a doubt the gifts would be well received.

"Of course they will," Bella answered. She was the oldest of the trio by two years. The smile that had played on her face all day widen even further. She thought of how many hearts they were going to touch this holiday season. Bella tucked a wisp of her velvety chocolate-colored hair behind her ear and scanned the room taking in all the pretty packages. "I know everyone will appreciate what we are doing."

"Seventy-two, seventy-three," Rose counted, as Bree set the bags down.

"This is amazing!" Bella couldn't contain her enthusiasm. She swayed her body back and forth to the music.

Christmas cheer was in full swing.

The bags were wonderful and would surely brighten the day of their intended recipients; however, what excited Bella most were the smaller gift boxes they had been working on. Each contained a fast food gift card and a handwritten prayer beautifully penned by Bella. There was one special box tied with red velvet ribbon to keep it distinct from the rest—that box held an extra special blessing. The blessing was one she held dear to her heart. It was given to her by her Grandma Swan when she was a small girl—sick and bedridden at Christmastime with a rare virus. She had been treated in the same Pediatric Intensive Care Unit they'd be visiting on Christmas Eve day. Hence the reason Bella chose that particular hospital.

As a small child, Bella had credited the gift from her Grandma as what helped to heal her. Maybe she was partially delusional, conjuring up fantasies brought on by high fever or maybe her memory was skewed from the long hospital stay. Whatever it was, Bella would always believe she was healed by the beautiful gift. Grandma Swan would be proud of Bella for paying it forward if it meant giving someone else in need a thread of hope and possible healing.

She snipped the excess ribbon from each meticulously tied bow and stacked them in a storage container with the exception of the gift tied in red. Bella tucked that special one into her purse for safekeeping.

"Seventy-five!" Rose finished counting the bags and clapped her hands together at the finality of their hard work. Not only was she happy she was finished for the night but she had a date with her boyfriend, Emmett. He was flying out on Christmas Eve to go back home to Montana for the holidays.

"We did it!" Bree high-fived Rose then blew a dramatic kiss Bella's way.

Winter break and the completion of wrapping the gifts signaled rest and relaxation for Bella. It was her favorite time of year, not solely because it was Christmas or because of the fact that it was the sixteenth year marking her recovery from her illness, or that she was almost a graduate. There were a plethora of tiny reasons that made the season special, which all meant the world to her.

Sights and smells and the feels winter brought forth took Bella back to her younger years. Some of the best times with her parents had been spent sledding in the mountains. Snow had been never-ending, creating the perfect twinkling canvas for snow angels, shining bright like diamond silhouettes in the sunshine. Pine trees had towered overhead making her feel even smaller than her already petite-little-girl self in her puffy powdered-blue coat. Pinked cheeks and lungfuls of icy-cold air had never stopped her from hours of fun.

Bella loved the pristine scenery. She'd always been drawn to the beauty of the wilderness. Younger Bella frolicked through the snow and played fetch with pinecones with her Alaskan Husky, Jake, her best friend. When it got too cold, Bella's parents would bribe her with board games and treats to entice her to go inside their rustic family cabin—which worked most of the time.

As the years passed and Bella grew older she cherished curling up inside with a good book in front of a warm, crackling fire instead of playing in the snow. She enjoyed her surroundings inside the house and soaked them up. One of her favorite was her dad, Charlie's, attempt at whistling sweet peppy tunes while he cooked, which made her heart and stomach happy. The aroma of vegetable soup simmering on the stove, homemade rolls baking in the oven combined with fragrant pine garland hanging from the banister was comforting.

Family was everything. They'd always been close and the cabin was their second home which signified love and togetherness to Bella at the holidays. Even if it were just her and her dad now.

When Renee, Bella's mother passed away during her sophomore year in high school, Bella assumed everything she had known from years past would crumble and change. However, the exact opposite had happened.

Bella admired her dad and his sweet, unwavering spirit. She noticed how he ached and longed for her mom the past few Christmases; his brows would pinch together and he would rub his hand over his heart when he thought Bella wasn't looking. He had always stayed positive and upbeat for his daughter because that was the kind of man Charlie was, a loving father who would walk across hot coals to keep Bella safe and happy. No wonder Bella kept high standards for boyfriends.

Charlie knew tradition was important to his daughter and made sure to keep the memories alive, even if those memories gutted him. He'd still decorate the cabin the same as Renee always had, making it seems as though she was still a part of their Christmas. He even made sure there were two wire hangers to fabricate into long skewers to roast marshmallows—that was always a favorite from the time Bella could remember. He used wire cutters along with a few twists of his wrists, and within minutes, they'd be gathered at the hearth. Soon, sizzling, gooey, sugar blobs were stuck on one end of the hanger. Bella's were always blackened; she could never manage a golden brown like Charlie's. He teased her relentlessly about submerging her charred marshmallows into her hot cocoa instead of squeezing them between two graham crackers like he did, but Bella had always loved dunking the sweet, burnt flavor in her cocoa much more. The best thing of all was when, out of thin, air a peppermint stick would appear in her dad's hand, so she could stir her mug of cocoa. She associated the minty flavor with comfort—and with magic.

The apartment was a small disaster with ribbons and paper strewn about and it was close to dinner time. Knowing they still had to load the car with the gifts and clean up the mess, Bella said, "Let's order takeout," as she picked pieces of raffia up from around where she had been working.

Bree nodded, agreeing with her. She tossed Bella a trash bag.

"What about you," Bella asked Rose.

"Can't. Hot date."

"Oh, yeah?" Bree winked at Rose.

"Mhmm." Both girls giggled.

Bella flipped through the coffee table drawer filled with restaurant menus and handed a few to Bree to see if anything sounded good to her.

Bree scanned the menus. "I could go for some eggrolls, but I don't want to drive in this weather. Let's get delivery."

Bella laughed. "The weather is beautiful and not treacherous."

Port Angeles' weather conditions were conducive to all the things Bella loved most about winter; however, she wished she had a significant other to share takeout—and her favorite season—with.

Bella was a hopeless romantic and never gave up on her dream of the perfect man. The romance books littering her nightstand and bookshelves could not prove otherwise and definitely fed into her desires.

Rose spoke up. "Maybe flights will be canceled if the weather keeps up this way."

"No such luck for you," Bella said. "What snow we get today is supposed to melt by Christmas Eve, which is a shame."

"Sucks." Rose agreed. Emmett's flight was scheduled to depart at five o'clock pm on Christmas Eve.

At least their hard work for charity had come to fruition, and the weather wouldn't be an obstacle to their gift-giving plans; they'd be sure to make it to the hospital. The three friends had fund raised every weekend in October and November to acquire money for the Pediatric wing at the local hospital. Bake sale after bake sale, craft fair after craft fair; peddling upcycled thrift store finds had paid off. Bree's candlesticks with ceramic plates glued to one end that turned into cake stands were a hit, and Rose's handmade denim bags from old jeans sold like hot cakes. In addition, Bella's calligraphy notecards with sweet sentiments were crowd pleasers, especially with the older folks.

"Christmas Eve is two days away. I feel like one of Santa's elves." Bree outstretched her arms, twirling around the tiny apartment they all shared. She was barely five foot tall and could pass as a department store elf, if in costume.

"I'd say we are," Bella replied. The beautiful smile still graced her face. Her deep brown eyes sparkled in delight as she looked around the room full of bags.

"Well, this little elf is going to freshen up, so I can give my boyfriend a proper send off." Rose had a smirk on her face.

A giggle burst from Bree's throat, but Bella's face blushed at the thought.

"Just...go." Bella clicked the lid onto the storage box containing the tiny, wrapped gifts. "We don't need the nitty-gritty."

"Have fun but not too much, if you know what I mean?" Bree added.

"Well, it's going to be weeks before I get to see him again." Rose stuck out her bottom lip in a pout.

Bella dipped her chin and raised her eyebrow in Rose's direction. "You'll live without him for two weeks. I promise."

Her tall, blonde friend had a heart of gold, and Bella didn't blame her, really she didn't. Rose was completely in love. She could tell by Emmett's sweet gestures and the loving connection they shared when they were together that they were meant to be. If Bella had a boyfriend, one whom she felt she couldn't breathe without, she'd pout as well.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the case for Bella. Mike Newton, a boy she had met at school, had turned out to be a real loser. Not only did he expect her to pay her own way on dates, the kicker was he didn't even have the common courtesy to open a door or two for her, which really turned her off. She remembered when they were at the mall once, her arms filled with bags—one's Mike never offered to carry, and the elevator doors almost closed on her because he hadn't had the courtesy to hold them open. Any semblance of chivalry would have been appreciated; however, Bella chalked up thoseold-time qualities to a long-ago era. She wasn't going to waste her precious time on a man-boy like him or anyone else who didn't show respect and old-fashioned ways. Bella decided after a few months with Mike she didn't need someone like him while she waited for the right man to come along.

For a few years, Bella had been having vivid dreams of a tall, handsome, chivalrous man with evergreen eyes that twinkled when he smiled. He brightened up her nights, even though she was sound asleep, and she always woke with a feeling of completeness. The man was always the same one who visited, too. He was selfless. Many times he displayed empathy and compassion and emanated love. He was the kind of man who would give someone the shirt off his back, and he would rescue kittens from tall trees, the one who would purchase watered down lemonade from the neighborhood children in the summertime and pretend it was the best thing he'd ever tasted.

When morning came, it was bittersweet realizing he was just a dream; however, he was her type of man. Those qualities he displayed were sexy to her. As per usual, her dream man would show her what _real_ men were made of: strength, loyalty, and love.

Bree and Rose kept telling Bella she'd be an old maid with the long list of 'musts' she had compiled. Bella didn't care though, she shrugged off her friends' comments. She'd made up her mind, she'd wait an eternity for _the one, the love of her life,_ or she'd happily die an old maid. She wasn't going to settle.

Rose took the empty popcorn bowl from coffee table to the kitchen. "I just love Emmett so much."

"I know, Rose. Go have fun with your man and tell him hello for us." Bella shooed her off with her hand. "Love you."

"We won't wait up for you," Bree added, giggling into the mug of hot apple cider cupped between her palms. "Love ya!"

"Love you, two, too."

 **XOXO**

Bella whipped up a batch of her delicious ginger cookies, stuffing a half dozen little baggies to take to the hospital the next day. She knew handing out gifts would be chaotic and tiring, and she and her friends would need a little snack to get them through the many hours of delivery. Plus, she packed extra just in case. The previous year when Bella had spread joy to as many little children she could, she was exhausted and ravenous by the time she made it to her car to head to the cabin. This year she was going to be proactive, making sure all the bases were covered for them. Of course, the last year she had taken on the activity all by herself and even on a much smaller scale, it was still tiring—satisfying but tiring. Recruiting Rose and Bree months ago didn't take much convincing but working without food very well could make for a long day.

Also, in Bella's experience, the parents of the ill children usually would keep her in the room a little longer than necessary as they silently begged for some adult conversation. Bella loved it, but it definitely extended the time it took.

Bella completely understood because her parents never left her side, holding a vigil the entire twenty-seven days she lay in the same unit, weak, sick and connected to various beeping, lifesaving machines. This was the reason it was so important to her to recognize the parents as well. Sometimes, they just needed a little support and kindness in the way of a meal or a prayer. A hug and light conversation was always appreciated and went a long way—more than anyone outside of the situation could ever grasp.

Bree and Rose knew why it was so important to Bella to spread joy at the hospital, considering Bella almost passed away when she was ten years old. Bella had pointed out to her friends that she wanted to make the Christmas Eve gift-giving a tradition. They were one hundred percent supportive, never thinking twice before offering to assist their best friend in her quest to give back this year, obviously on a much grander scale.

"Smells like a gingerbread man had an orgasm in here."

"Gross. Don't cheapen the holiday for me, Bree," Bella chastised. Dirty talk made her cheeks turn pink.

"Bella, what are you going to do if you ever see a real live... _you know?"_ Bree asked. "In the raw?"

Bella ignored her friend. She had never had sex, believing in the time-honored value of saving herself for marriage. And at the rate she was going, she'd never see a man in the flesh _._ She changed the subject quickly. "Can you grab the milk out of the fridge, please? I'm hungry after all the baking and packing I've done today." Bella was leaving for the cabin as soon as the gifts were all passed out the next day. She missed her dad and looked forward to unwinding in the mountains. Plus, she knew she was going to meet his new girlfriend, Sue. Bella had heard so many wonderful things about her, and she was thrilled for her dad. He deserved to be happy, and she had prayed he'd find love again after her mom passed. Charlie was the kind of man Bella modeled her list after. Her dad possessed all the good qualities she so desired. Maybe she had set the bar too high, but she knew there had to be someone out there, and her time would come—hopefully. She prayed about it each night asking God for someone to love and to love her back—with his whole heart.

"Sure, sweetie. I'm sorry. I guess I'm giddy today. The holidays always make me so happy."

Bree was going home, too. Her home was there in Port Angeles though, just a block away from the local hospital they'd be visiting tomorrow. Her family was huge—three brothers and two sisters, all younger than her. Bree loved family time as much as Bella, and she had tons of extended family visiting from the reservation this year, as well. Bella made sure to bake a couple extra batches of ginger cookies for her to take home.

"I'm not so sure this snow is going to let up," Bree said, pulling glasses out of the cabinet.

Bella glanced out the window. "But the weatherman said it would all be gone by tomorrow afternoon."

"Dream on, honey, but I think this is gonna stay. Maybe Rose will get her wish and Emmet's flight will be canceled after all."

Bella laughed. "Wouldn't that be something?" She wanted Rose to get her wish but that would mean she'd be stuck in the apartment by herself because her old Bonneville would never make it to the base of the mountains where she'd be meeting her dad and Sue. Charlie knew Bella's car was on its last leg and offered his daughter a ride up to the cabin. In fact, there would be a brand new Jeep waiting for her with a big red bow sitting on the hood—his gift to his precious girl.

"Wanna watch a movie?"

"That'd be lovely. Let me grab my pillow." Bella yawned. She was already in her fleece pajamas and knew she'd fall asleep before the movie was over, but she wanted to spend time with Bree before they all went their separate ways the next afternoon. Rose already texted to let them know she was staying overnight at Emmett's and would meet them at the hospital, so the two of them made themselves comfy and searched for a movie.

Bella's eyes closed almost as soon as Bree found the television station playing back to back holiday movies. She drifted off into a deep sleep. It wasn't long before the man of her dreams made an appearance again. This time it was different; he actually spoke to her.

" _Hello, sweetheart. You've been busy baking today." He smoothed his index finger on the rim of the antique plate Bella had on the counter stacked with cookies. "Are these for me?" The man dared not to touch them until Bella gave him the go ahead. She smiled and nodded. She watched as he picked up one cookie then bit into the spiced gingerbread, humming his approval. He chewed and swallowed before commenting. "Sooo delicious, pretty girl." His evergreen eyes shined. The way his words felt in her ears as they captured his first word had her wondering if he was speaking of the cookies or her until he added, "Just like mother used to bake."_

" _Thank you."_

 _Bella felt her cheeks prickle with heat under his stare as he placed the rest of the cookie in his mouth and walked toward her. He stopped a step away from where she stood and reached for her hand. There was a force so powerful, as if her arm was connected to marionette strings, pulling her arm up from her side. She watched their hands come closer but Bella hesitated when she noticed a red, raised scar on the underside of his wrist, peeking out from his dress shirt. Her brow furrowed. It hadn't been there in her previous dreams. There was an urge so intense to run her thumb over his injury but before she could he linked his fingers with hers._

 _Bella looked up at his kind face; his eyes crinkled at the sides when he smiled and put her at ease. Never had she seen a man so handsome. His penny-colored hair was neatly buzzed on the sides; however, the top was short, unruly waves that needed fingers run through it to tame them._

 _She felt lightheaded, and her legs buckled at his close proximity. The sensation was overwhelming._

 _The man scooped her up in his strong arms and whispered just breathe as he carried her to the couch where he sat her down. "Are you okay, sweetheart?"_

 _Bella nodded, her hands firmly cupped over both knees as she tried composing herself. Moments passed; concern was etched in his eyes._

" _I'm fine. I...I don't know what came over me."_

" _You are fine. In fact, you're the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on." His face was inches from hers. He smelled of ginger and cinnamon from her cookies._

 _She was speechless and wanted to thank him but the words wouldn't form on her tongue. All she could do was continue to stare into his eyes._

" _You deserve someone to love you the way you need to be loved," he whispered. "I want to show you what you've been missing." He ran the tips of his fingers at Bella's hairline, and then his knuckles skimmed her cheek. "That's why I continue to come to you in your dreams."_

 _Her body relaxed at his touch. She longed to have a taste of him. Her hand touched his neck, the other one laid softly on his chest over his heart. She swore she could feel his pulse coursing through his body and matching her own rhythm._

 _He had to be real._

 _Bella closed her eyes for a moment and inhaled, trying to catch her breath from his compliment. She had never been wooed by a man and it felt like his warm hands enveloping her soul protecting her heart like a fragile crystal figurine. The feeling was different than anything she'd experienced in her twenty-six years. Her lips parted, and a shy grin appeared on her face._

 _The gorgeous man with the unforgettable green eyes leaned in closer—his lips a breath away. She longed for more, her fingers curling into him signaling it was okay to kiss her. He obliged. His hand held her waist, bringing her toward him into a sensual kiss. He tasted of cookies and ..._

"Bella, wake up," Bree whispered. "The movie's over."

Bella squinted, rubbing her eyes. The credits were playing on the television.

"Go to bed and I'll see you in the morning. We have a big day."

"I fell asleep, sorry."

"No worries, I did, too."

"I'm just going to sleep here," Bella said as Bree walked to her bedroom. She hoped if she closed her eyes again her dream would continue—but it didn't.

 **XOXO**

Bella and Bree parked in the parking garage at the hospital, luckily finding an empty spot next to Rose's vehicle. They all got out of their cars and gave quick hugs before gathering up the gifts.

"This snow is crazy," Rose said, wrapping her scarf around her neck.

"It doesn't look like it's going to melt after all," Bella replied.

"I told you. Rose might just get her wish after all." Bree giggled, elbowing Bella.

"The weatherman said it'd stop," Bella said. "So…"

"Dream on," Rose said. That seemed to be the tagline her friends would say to her. She knew she was a dreamer because if she weren't then what would she have to look forward to? Bella believed in lots of things, namely, love.

Three hospital carts were piled high with gift bags and the girls were giddy making their way inside. They'd have to make several additional trips to the car to restock because they had an abundance of cheer to spread today.

The new wing of the P.I.C.U. was huge. It now accommodated seventy-five beds. The exact amount of gift bags the girls had assembled, because Bella had called a few days prior for the census. The unit was decorated with a tree and homemade decor by the less severe kiddos. Paper snowflakes, red and white pipe cleaners twisted into candy canes, and a few walnut shells painted like mice with felt ears and yarn tails hung from fake pine branches. Bella and the girls were impressed at the holiday cheer as they walked through the doors.

"Hi, Bella." Nurse Cope greeted all the girls but Bella held a special place in her heart. She had been one of Bella's nurses from when she was a sick little ten year old fighting for her life.

"Hi, Shelly." Bella hugged her favorite nurse. Bella always made sure to personally deliver one of her handmade holiday cards to her since she was discharged from the hospital all those years ago.

"You get more beautiful as the years go by. I only get grayer and chubbier," Shelly joked.

"You're beautiful too. Inside and out." Bella reached into her purse for the card and one of the extra bags of ginger cookies for her former nurse. Shelly was unable to have children of her own, and the kids she took care of in the unit received her undivided attention along with love when she nursed them back to health. Bella admired her for her loving heart.

"Yummy. Thank you, sweetie." She tucked the cookies into her scrub top pocket. "I'll be sure _not_ to share these. You make the most divine cookies and these I will savor."

Bella introduced her friends then asked, "Where should we start?"

"How about room one then work your way to room seventy-five. This year we have a full house. RSV and the Flu are in full swing." The girls nodded. "I'll be Santa's helper."

"Lead the way, then, little elf," Bree teased.

It was almost lunchtime with no end in sight. They hadn't even made it to the car to restock gifts. Bella was correct. The parents were overjoyed at the small foiled packages, thanking the girls profusely for their kindness. The girls were going to have to devise another plan if they were going to finish handing out gifts by mid-afternoon.

"Let's split up," Rose suggested. "We still have thirty-something rooms to visit."

"Yeah, I agree. We can go to the car, restock then divide and conquer," Bree added.

"That's a great idea," Bella agreed. "I think we can for sure be out of here by three."

"Perfect," Bree said. "Seth is taking me for coffee when we're finished here before I head over to my parents' house this evening." Bella really liked Seth. He had become a good friend of hers. He intended on graduating, then doing missionary work for a year before starting his professional career. He loved helping the less fortunate, and Bella found that a great quality. Bree even considered going with Seth overseas in the spring.

After restocking the carts with gifts from the parking garage, there were only a few more gifts that they still couldn't manage to grab. Bella offered to do those herself so Rose and Bree could start their holiday festivities. This was, after all, Bella's baby and she'd do whatever it took to make sure she carried it out to the end. She had already called her dad telling him she'd be a few hours later than expected.

 **XOXO**

The girls met up in the hallway of the P.I.C.U. after finishing the last of their gift-giving. It was just shy of three o'clock.

"Looks like we are finished with our part," Rose said.

"Thank you for all your help." Bella hugged each friend. "Have a Merry Christmas. Tell your families Merry Christmas as well."

"We will," Bree and Rose answered in unison.

Each of the girls told Bella to tell Charlie Merry Christmas as well.

Bree added, "And his lady friend." She waggled her eyebrows.

Bella giggled. She was going to miss her roommates. "I will, silly."

The girls finished saying their goodbyes, planning to meet back up at their apartment after New Year's. Bella stopped at the front desk before returning for the last of the gifts.

"Shelly, we are almost finished."

"Wow! You girls really spread the love this year. I'm sorry I got whisked away, but duty called."

"That's fine. I understand." Bella loved the dedication Shelly had to her patients at all times. "I'm going to run out and get the last five bags."

"Alright, sweetie. Don't get lost in the blizzard."

"Blizzard?"

"It's not quite a blizzard, yet, but it's accumulating fast..."

"Okay, I'll hurry."

Bella rushed to the car for the gift bags and raced back up the P.I.C.U. she noticed the snow had stopped, but everything was fully adorned in white. The road crews hadn't even made a dent in the snow removal yet.

Bella gave the sweetest little girl one of the last gift bags and patted her hand telling her to get well. She made sure to tell her she'd add her to her prayers for a speedy recovery. This particular girl had her tonsils removed and a small complication had her admitted to the unit.

"Eat some ice cream for me," Bella said as she left the room.

"Thank you, Miss. We appreciate the gifts. Have a Merry Christmas," the young girl's father said, giving Bella a wave as she retreated from the dim room.

Thirty minutes later Bella had wrapped up the P.I.C.U. gift-giving. She headed to the main floor via elevator. She couldn't wait to meet Charlie soon and typed out a text telling him she'd be there in about an hour, depending on road conditions. She hoped her car would at least make it the forty-five minutes to the base of the mountain.

"Oh come on." Bella pleaded with her old car to turn over. She was already late meeting her dad and was ready to be in the mountains in front of a roaring fire. "Please, please. You cannot do this to me now, not on Christmas Eve." Tears threatened her eyes. She leaned her forehead to the steering wheel praying for a miracle.

The Bonneville sputtered, turning over. "Yes! Thank you." Bella let out a sigh of relief and pulled out to exit the parking garage. Her excitement was short-lived because as soon as she started to pull out, she was stopped by a white barricade. The blizzard had come after all, and the almost two feet of snow was going to hold her hostage at the hospital. There was no way she was going to make it to meet her dad. Resigned, Bella parked her car again, leaving it running for warmth, and broke down.

After giving herself a moment to cry, Bella decided to take herself back inside the hospital. Bella made her way to the tiny chapel on the first floor to wait out the blizzard. She needed some comfort, and praying had gotten her through some pretty tough times in the past, so it was only natural that Bella would go there first. Bella took a seat in the back pew, sent her dad a text that she was stranded at the hospital, and then folded her hands tightly to pray. Bella hadn't sat down for hours. She had been a whirlwind of motion, and when she did finally stop moving, her body succumbed to her tiredness. She nodded off mid prayer and started dreaming. This time it was different, though.

 _There was a lady praying in the first pew. Something drew her to the woman. Her dark bob swept forward as she prayed before the wooden cross in front of the colorful kaleidoscope of stained glass._

 _From what Bella could tell, the lady looked exhausted, like she had been at the hospital for far too many days. Bella decided she would say a prayer for the lady and for all the individuals who were stuck in the hospital on such a glorious holiday—the sick and their loved ones alike. Bella felt fortunate to have her health, a father who loved her, and best friends who were like sisters._

" _Amen," the lady whispered, barely audible, but the nearly vacant room took her word and bounced it off the walls. Bella lifted her head and opened her eyes. As the lady walked toward the door, she saw her eyes were red-rimmed, like she had been crying._

" _Excuse me," Bella said, her voice soft and sweet. She stood as the lady came closer. "This may sound strange, but can I give you a hug?"_

 _The lady stopped. Instead of a blank look, her face now held expression. A tiny smile tugged at her tightly pressed-together lips. "Actually, I could really use one right now." Her voice cracked as she finished her sentence._

 _Bella wrapped her arms around the lady, who was a few inches shorter than she was. Bella guessed that she was in her forties and wondered where her family was. Maybe her husband or even her child was within the walls of the hospital being treated for some illness._

" _Would you like to sit down? We could talk?" Bella offered._

 _The lady nodded. "You're an angel, Miss."_

 _The two took seats in the pew, and Bella angled herself toward the lady. "My name's Bella." She offered her hand, and the lady took it._

" _I'm Alice."_

 _There was a pause. Bella could sense Alice needed someone to talk to._

" _I'm sorry I'm crying." Alice wiped at her nose with a tissue she had balled in her other hand. "It's just I've been here for a week with my Uncle. He's really sick. I'm all he has, and I can't bring myself to leave him—even for a shower." She gestured to her hair. It was a mess, but Bella hadn't noticed until Alice had pointed it out._

" _No, really. It's okay. I know it's tough."_

 _Alice glanced up into Bella's eyes. The girl she saw looking back was kind. Not many young girls would be mature enough to ask a stranger if they needed a hug. Bella looked familiar to her, but she couldn't place her face._

" _What's your Uncle's name? I could add him to my prayers."_

" _I call him Uncle E. Sergeant Major, E. M. Cullen." A puff of air left her nose._

 _He sounded distinguished. Before Bella could ask any questions, Alice started speaking. "He was career military—the army to be specific. He never married or had children of his own. Years ago he told me he never found his one true love, and he wasn't going to settle for just anyone. He had a vivid picture of the perfect woman." Alice had a wistful smile. "Uncle E said she came to him in his dreams—his perfect lady. And she'd be enough if the real one, in this lifetime, never came along." She shook her head. "So, he stayed single. I guess his one true love didn't exist." Alice wiped another tear, and Bella's eyes glistened. What Alice said hit close to home. "He was married to his job and treated me as his child. He's my mother's brother. He served in Vietnam."_

" _Are you his only niece?"_

" _Yes. I'm his only everything right now. My parents couldn't travel because my father had knee surgery, and my mom couldn't leave him. And I'm an only child with no children of my own."_

" _I understand."_

" _I want to be here for him, but I'm not handling this very well." Tears welled in her tired eyes and tumbled down her pale cheeks. "He's not expected to make it this time."_

 _Bella retrieved a clean tissue from her down vest pocket for both of them. She had put a small travel pack in there just in case she needed them today while meeting the families of the kids in the P.I.C.U._

" _This time?"_

" _He's been in and out of the hospital for the last few months. It's his heart."_

" _I'm so sorry, Alice."_

 _She shook her head. "No, I'm the one who's sorry. I shouldn't have unloaded on you. You probably have plans for Christmas, and I'm keeping you."_

 _Bella put her arm around Alice hugging her. "It doesn't matter. Something told me I needed to be here, and I'm glad I am. You needed a shoulder and I have two. So it's perfect."_

 _Alice cracked a smile. "Thank you."_

" _Would you like a cookie?" Bella reached into her vest pocket and pulled out the last extra bag of cookies._

" _Are those ginger?"_

" _Yes, my favorite."_

" _Ah, my Granny used to make those. She was an excellent baker."_

" _I hope mine compare." Bella opened the bag, so Alice could take one._

 _Alice took a bite. "Mmm. It's my birthday, by the way, so this really is a special treat. Thank you."_

" _Oh, my gosh. Happy birthday," Bella said even though she knew it was far from happy for her new friend._

 _Bella hoped for a mere moment that Alice felt comforted by similar tastes from her childhood._

" _I have an idea," Bella said. "I'd love to sit with your uncle if you'd like to grab a bite to eat and go home to take a shower. My gift to you."_

 _Alice's eyebrows raised in question. "Really?"_

 _Bella nodded. "I'd love to."_

" _Are you sure?"_

 _Bella nodded again. "Of course I am. I wouldn't have offered otherwise."_

" _You are a Godsend. Thank you, so much."_

" _Oh, here. I have something else for you." Bella reached inside her purse and took out the foil-wrapped package tied with red velvet ribbon. Until this moment she had forgotten she hadn't given it away yet. "I'd like for you to have this."_

" _You just keep getting sweeter and sweeter," Alice said, accepting the gift._

" _Open it."_

 _Alice slid the ribbon off the package and carefully unwrapped the box. It would be the only gift she'd receive this Christmas, so she took her time. When she lifted the lid, the restaurant gift card was on top and underneath, was the calligraphy prayer. Alice unfolded it and read it aloud._

" _Thank you, Bella." Alice noticed one more thing wrapped tightly in tissue._

" _Um," Bella said. "Do you mind if I take that to your Uncle myself?" She pointed to the last item in the box before Alice unwrapped it. "It was a memento from my Grandma. She gave it to me when I was younger."_

" _Sure, of course. He's been in and out of consciousness, so I'm not sure he'll be able to thank you."_

" _I don't need thanks. To be honest, I did this for me. I feel better giving than receiving. And to hold his hand and give him comfort while you're gone would be an honor."_

" _Are you sure you don't mind?" Alice looked hesitant. Bella could tell she was nervous leaving her uncle._

" _Not at all." Bella smiled. "Why don't you give me your cell number, and I can text you if you're needed right away."_

 _The new friends exchanged numbers and a long hug, and then Alice went on her way. Mr. Cullen was in building 4, floor 5, room 523, the cardiac unit. Bella grabbed a water bottle from a vending machine when the elevator stopped on the fifth floor. She stood by an outside window and took a drink and then took her cell phone out of her back pocket to send a text._

 _ **Hi, Dad. I got held up at the hospital. I might be a couple more hours.**_

 _ **No, problem. Sue and I still have a few last minutes details to take care of. Text me when you're ready to meet. Love you.**_

 _ **Okay, I will. Love you, too.**_

 _Bella made her way to the nurses' station to check in. She wondered if she needed to but did it anyway._

" _Hi, I'm Bella Swan. I'm here to visit Mr. Cullen." For some reason her nerves got the better of her. Her throat dried out, and she needed another swig of water._

" _Oh, yes, Ms. Swan. Alice just called saying you'd be here to sit with her uncle."_

" _Yes, ma'am."_

" _We've been trying to get Alice to go home and take a break for days but no dice. She's only made it as far as the chapel and the cafeteria."_

" _Yes, ma'am. That's where I met her, the chapel."_

 _The nurse nodded. "Alice told me. It's very kind of you to offer to sit with Mr. Cullen. I'm afraid all we can do for him now is comfort him."_

 _Bella knew what the nurse meant, and besides, Alice had informed her he wasn't going to get better this time. "He's down the hallway, fourth door on your left."_

" _Thank you."_

 _Bella walked timidly toward Mr. Cullen's room with wide eyes. She'd never been to this part of the hospital before. It was different than the P.I.C.U. Even though there were noisy machines in both places, the pediatric ward was bright and cheery with colorful art work hanging on the walls whereas this floor was drab._

 _Bella knocked lightly on the door to Mr. Cullen's room. When she didn't get a response, she entered, being as quiet as she could. She stopped a few feet inside the door, taking in the man lying in the bed. He was asleep. His gray hair accentuated the pallor of his skin. A sheet covered him to his waist. The blue hospital gown gaped opened, exposing patches stuck to his chest. Wires connected the monitor to those patches and to the ailing man. The monitor beeped low. She looked at the monitor and could tell it was his heart rate. The time she had spent in the hospital when she was younger she had learned what certain things meant. She read the monitor and noticed his oxygen was low, very low. However, the nurses weren't running to his room so she decided this was probably just his body finally succumbing to his illness._

 _A small, uncomfortable chair was already placed next to his bed. Bella knew right away that chair had been Alice's perch the entire time she had been staying with her uncle. She took Alice's seat and hung her purse on the back of the chair. She removed her vest and made herself comfortable. She looked around the room taking in her surroundings. It was depressing. No wonder Alice needed a break. The only semblance of color was a lone arrangement, a Christmas Lily in a red and white wicker basket. It reminded her of her of a candy cane._

 _Bella didn't want to startle Mr. Cullen by holding his hand right off the bat, so she introduced herself. His eyes stayed closed. She went on to explain who she was and why she was at the hospital in the first place. Still no reaction. Bella found herself rambling on and on in hushed tones. Before long her new friend knew the highlights of her life, whether he liked it or not. Along with the disappointment of her not having a boyfriend. She sat still in the chair then remembered the trinket she wanted to give Mr. Cullen. She retrieved it out of the vest pocket smooched against the back of her chair. She carefully unwrapped the tissue until the gold and verdigris cross appeared. The bluish color was still her favorite and had been for sixteen years._

 _She took hold of Mr. Cullen's hand and gently turned it over to give him the cross. Bella's heart sunk when she noticed a jagged, thick pink scar running up the inside of his arm from his wrist nearly to his elbow. It stood out against his pale skin. The healed wound looked like it had been painful. It brought back an earlier dream of hers. The similarity was uncanny._

 _The handsome man lay in a hospital bed in recovery from surgery. He had been in his woodshop finishing a jewelry box for his beloved. Something startled him, and his arm fell on the table saw._

 _ **You don't have to stay with me. I'll be okay, Honey**_ _._

 _Bella ran her hand through her husband's hair. She loved how it felt between her fingers. She stared into his groggy eyes._

 _ **You almost sliced your arm off.**_

 _A tear slid down her cheek._

 _ **I was trying to finish your Christmas present before our guests arrived.**_

 _It was Christmas Eve, and they were having family over for a holiday dinner. Bella had been in the kitchen all day and he had been in his woodshop. He had banned her from entering, saying Santa was working. So she kept herself busy preparing dinner and dessert._

 _ **I only need you. You're my gift.**_ _Her voice cracked. He was her everything. Material possessions didn't matter to her._

 _ **And you are mine.**_ _He drifted in and out of consciousness, the medication pulling him under, making him sleepy. He mumbled through the darkness._ _ **The girl of my dreams.**_

 _Bella curled Mr. Cullen's fingers around the cross. His skin was cool; too cold for her liking, and she wanted to warm him. She cupped both her hands around his, cocooning him in her warmth. The cross touched both their palms. His fingers twitched. She looked up to see if she had woken him, but he still appeared to be in a deep sleep. She had all but told the man her whole life story so she rested her head on his upper arm and hummed Baby It's Cold Outside then a handful of other Christmassy tunes._

 _Alarms sounded, startling Bella. Her eyes darted to Mr. Cullen's monitors and she saw flat lines and numbers that didn't look normal. Before she could move to shout for help, a rush of nurses and doctors entered the room. Tears fell from her eyes when she realized what was happening. She was witnessing Mr. Cullen take his last breaths. The nurse from earlier at the nurse's station took ahold of her arm, handing Bella her purse and vest. "I'm sorry, but you need to leave."_

 _Bella heard codes and medical jargon being called and had no idea what any of it meant. She rushed out of the room with tears streaking her cheeks. She stopped in the hallway to catch her breath. She had promised to call Alice if she was needed and now what would she say? Her hands shook as she tried taking her phone from her back pocket, and it dropped to the floor. Bella bent down to retrieve it and stayed there with her head tucked to her knees. Her tears wouldn't stop. Why did this have to happen on Christmas Eve? She realized she was still holding the cross in her hand, the impression of the filigree pattern indented in her palm. She kissed the cross and dashed to the bank of elevators. Her destination was the chapel. She needed to pray for Mr. Cullen and for his whole family, plus it'd be a quiet place to call Alice._

 _Bella found her way back to the chapel and opened the door. No one was there, so she dropped her purse and vest in the back pew and took a seat. The cross was still firmly squeezed in her hand._

 _She dialed Alice's number and put it to her ear. A recording played. I'm sorry but the number you have dialed has been disconnected or is no longer in service. Bella pulled the phone from her ear and pressed end. She dialed again. The same recording played, and she panicked. Bella promised Alice she'd call if she was needed. She tried one more time with no luck. Alice had entered her phone number in Bella's phone. She must have entered a wrong number by mistake. Alice had been distraught, so it was no wonder the number was incorrect._

 _Bella took a deep breath and folded her hands together in prayer. Surely, the nurses had contacted Alice by now, at least she hoped. Bella began to pray for comfort and peace for Alice and her family and for Mr. Cullen._

 _Maybe this was God's plan, to spare Alice the moment of her uncle passing away. Bella believed in things happening for a reason, as cliché as that sounded._

The opening of the door startled Bella. Confused, she looked around. She was still sitting in the chapel. Someone must have come and gone while she was asleep. How long had she been asleep anyway? She rubbed at her eyes and looked at her phone—two hours. She hoped the road crews had the streets drivable by now because she needed to leave and meet her dad and Sue.

She walked towards the elevator to the parking garage. She pressed the button and dipped her head, examining the design of the filigree on her palm as she waited for the elevator doors to open. She hadn't noticed anyone waiting with her.

 _Ding._ The doors opened and it took her a moment to move her feet. When she realized she needed to walk forward the door started to close. She gasped and an arm shot out to catch the door.

"Thank you," Bella said. She kept her head down. When she had awoken from her dream she had been crying and she knew she looked like a mess.

"You're welcome." A man with a familiar voice answered. Bella couldn't help but look up. She froze when she saw him. "Are you okay?"

Bella nodded slowly then shook her head. 'Not really." Tears threatened her eyes again. The man was gorgeous. Something was so familiar about the man standing in the elevator with her. He was holding two coffee cups in the palm of one hand.

"Would you like to talk about it? I mean, I know I'm a stranger and all but…"

"Um." The elevator stopped at the garage level and the doors opened. "I'm okay." She lied and exited.

The man followed out behind her. "Would a hot cocoa help? I have an extra."

"I really need to get to meet my dad right now."

"Unless you have a sleigh and eight tiny reindeer, you're stuck here."

Bella stopped.

"The roads are awful." He was next to her now holding out one of the cups to her. "Mint hot cocoa, it's my favorite." He dipped his head to the cup for her to take it. Her hand raised from her side accepting the drink.

"It's my favorite, too."

"Then, it's your lucky day."

It was far from Bella's lucky day. She was stuck in the hospital on Christmas Eve and had just had an awful dream where she witnessed someone's loved one die. Bella shook her head.

"Would you like to talk about it?" The man offered again. His eyes were green with flecks of gold and sparkled as she took a sip of the hot cocoa, both reminiscent of Christmas. Bella nodded. Maybe it would help to get her mind off what just happened.

"There's a sitting area around the corner." He motioned with his arm.

Bella knew the hospital like the back of her hand and walked toward the little nook with upholstered chairs. She took a seat in the cozy corner, and the man followed suit but not before taking off his coat revealing a military uniform.

Words failed Bella. It all came rushing back to her. The reason he seemed so familiar was because he resembled the man in her dreams—it was uncanny.

Sitting next to her new friend was comfortable; in fact, it was thrilling. Her heart beat fast, then slow, then erratic, skipping beats here and there when his arm brushed against hers. Bella found herself smiling at his story of getting to the hospital today, nearly colliding with a Santa in an old Volkswagen that had reindeer antlers adorning its car windows. She had already told him about visiting the P.I.C.U. but left out the part of her dream in the Cardiac Unit. She even offered him ginger cookies, which he took with great joy.

"I had to get here," he said, biting into the cookie. "Mmm, my favorite." He popped the rest of the cookie in his mouth, chewed and swallowed. "These are just like my mom's. Delicious." He picked up the story where he left off. "I almost wrecked. I wasn't speeding, but Santa and his brown reindeer car had an agenda and must have been late for something." He laughed. "He came out of nowhere and about side swiped me."

Bella giggled at the thought of Santa in a VW Bug.

"I didn't want to miss the birth of my niece. My sister was in labor, but as it turns out it took hours, so I had plenty of time."

"Aww. I love babies."

"She's perfect. Black hair, dark eyes, a ball of fire...I can tell. She wouldn't stop crying." He laughed. "I think my sister is getting payback for how she acted when she was young."

"That's funny. What's her name?"

"It's Alice."

Bella's expression fell. Alice. What a coincidence.

"I apologize. We've been here for an hour, and I still don't know your name."

"I...I'm Bella. Bella Swan."

"Very nice to make your acquaintance, Bella. I'm Edward Cullen." His smile shone bright.

Her mouth fell open and her head shook.

"Yes, I promise. The last time I looked my driver's license it said, Sergeant Major Edward Cullen." His fingers combed through his penny-colored hair brushing it to the side as if it were a habit.

"It can't be."

"I wouldn't lie to a pretty lady. In fact, I'd love to take you out for dinner...when the roads are clear, of course."

Bella scanned Edward's face, his eyes, and his hair, just the same as the man in her dreams, Mr. Dreamy as her friends teased her. _It can't be._ His politeness: He held the elevator doors for her, and offered her mint hot cocoa—her favorite. The way her insides fluttered when their arms touched—his voice.

When Bella didn't answer he asked, "Are you okay?"

"Are you real?" she whispered. Her hand lifted to his face to make sure he wasn't a mirage. It felt natural to touch him, like she had done it a thousand times. His skin was warm. He had to be real. Her thumb smoothed over his cheekbone.

Edward leaned forward, their lips a breath away. "Very much so," he breathed.

He smelled of ginger and cinnamon, and she could almost taste his sweetness. Bella's hand brushed down his face and settled on his neck. Her fingers curled into him. She had never felt this attraction to any man before, except the one in her dreams.

"Merry Christmas," he whispered, inching closer until they were touching.

Their lips met with a gentleness. Their tongue's peeked out in a caress. He tasted sweet, like cookies, and Bella's lips tasted of mint chocolate.

The connection was familiar, yet it wasn't.

This kiss, it was real.

And so was the man of her dreams.


End file.
